At first, I had wanted to hold off on sharing this draft properly because I thought I might be able to pick it back up someday. I'm not so sure about that anymore, chief. Most of this writing was carried out in 2022, simultaneous to some of the actual individual smut scenes.

The plot of this is explained in summation on the prologue of Lustsick. This is what was meant to be named "Lustsick", while the Shu x everyone **part would be named "Loveful" (to play around with the usual wordings of "lovesick" and "lustful"). "Lustsick" as a title would match the harrowing encroaching of a continuous ailment only solvable through repeated sex, while "Loveful" would be about the healing and fun after all the problems are settled and he gets used to it. (apparently the Shu/all dynamic is called "shubowl" as winterswaves on ao3 informed me which is so cute wth)

As a whole, this is hurt/comfort, and is a lot less cozy than the writings later in the story timeline that are posted to Ao3. There's less actual smut here despite the sexual themes and there are some comfy and heartwarming sections but plenty of it goes into angst. Shu is not happy about turning into an incubus. There are themes like self-loathing, anxiety, PTSD, dissociation, self-harm/neglect, just a doozy of mental health things– and part of why I couldn't continue writing it is because I was not handling all that heavy stuff well. (the other part of why is because it's a huge undertaking with a timeline that needs to be well thought-out as well as the participation of various characters, making a complex web, and so many details to ensure the plot works,,)

Since it's a draft, a lot of plot is missing, but a good chunk of the context and context clues are there. I typed some explanations to help as well. I did wanna share at least some parts of this in the end because I really like some of these scenes/lines/situations. Like a lot. Brainhooks for me. They're what got me wanting to put a whole ass proper plot around them ksjdnfjkdfg

Aside from Shu, the present plot has more of a focus on Ike, Elira, Uki and Pomu. There's a number of things I would have planned or written differently, but again, this is mostly 2-years-old writing. I'm sorry about how confusing it is with all the missing chunks of writing. My way of planning-writing is super unoptimal and it kicks my own ass too. I'm open to any questions for the curious souls.

*note: the chapter division would likely not stay the way it’s presented here either. *also important! This is large for a single post. It's upwards of 16k words. Be ready for big scroll. ( ˴◅ˋ)੭

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There were times when New Years, on Earth, would be miserable. Or even when they weren't, they'd still reek with doubt and uncertainty, powered through with optimism that at times felt empty.

But last year was a huge shift– and by this one, true hope and positivity were well-consolidated.

Between Luxiem's first year anniversary and the New Years get-together with the rest of their branch, Shu felt happy.

He's exhausted, absolutely exhausted, but in the best way possible. His heart brimmed with gratitude and joy, full and warm, the voices of his friends from the recent collab still echoing in his mind– all their laughter, their positive words that embraced him in much the same way their arms had when they were all together at the year's turn.

It had gotten so much better. From spending it utterly alone, to typing "happy new year everyone c:" under fake names, to hearing his friends' voices shout it out over setups of questionable quality, to hearing their voices with better quality while knowing more about them, to sharing their experiences with an audience, to doing so with more new friends and a much bigger audience, to experiencing it in a locale packed with comrades– hearing and seeing and touching them in real time, sincere and unabashedly themselves, not having to hide their otherworldly features or names or abilities.

And that was a few days ago, and there are a few memories about it that make his heart beat a little quicker, but he doesn't let his thoughts dwell on them.

It is in this context, among counted blessings, that he first sees it.

After a tired shower, lips still quirked up over dumb jokes his friends had cracked nary an hour back, Shu notices something amiss. He catches the color under dim light, and he's not the type to ever just look at himself naked, but the mirror beckons him with that odd novel detail.

It's low, lower than his stomach and higher than his crotch. It's shaped like an intricate heart tattoo, and it glows an ever so faint pink.